Mother's Day......

As I sit here pondering what Mother's Day means to me, I find a sense of happiness but at the same time a sense of heartache and loss.....I sifted through old photographs of my children and I and wondered how and where I failed them. I questioned whether they thought I was a good mother, and how they may have wished for another. I'm not perfect! I've made mistakes! But I have always loved them with my entire being....nothing or no one can deny it, as it is tattooed on my heart and wrapped around my soul!

Photographs of happy, beautiful children, shining examples of my greatest accomplishments in life! It is wonderful to see their smiling faces, so full of love, ready to grow and live life with passion and grace. Yet as I flip through each one, I see them as they are now, unsure, frightened and struggling to find their way in a world whose goal is to reward the rich, the plastic, the sheep.

I'm a single mother, have been for over 18 years. They say you should never look back, but I do......I look back to decisions I have made which led us down a different path, ones that hurt us, ones that didn't advance our situation, and the ones that changed our lives forever...for the best.

I cherish my children, they are my life, my treasures.....they are the reason I live. There is nothing better than hearing "I love you Momma" or the warmth of their hugs, the kisses on my cheeks. Those are truly priceless gifts, ones that I hold with high regard instead of flowers which eventually die after a few days no matter how carefully you attend them.

The REAL parts of being a mother are what makes me survive this life. When my children accomplish a goal, its like winning an Oscar or hitting the lottery! My heart is so full of happiness and exudes massive amounts of the love thing.

I never try to define who I am to others, its all subjective. But for today, I celebrate who I am MOM, MOMMA, Mother.....no matter how you say it, this is who I am and always will be, even after I am gone from Earth, I will continue to be this person who gave life to these wonderful human beings. I hope they keep me close in their hearts, and smile and giggle about something I did or said.

I may not be perfect, but I am MOMMA! I feel blessed each day that GOD chose my babies just for me. They are the loves of my life from here to eternity!